


i brought cookies

by bishounen_curious



Series: volleyball dads [11]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Awkward Sexual Situations, Consent, First Relationship, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, Sloppy Makeouts, alcohol mention, first year daisuga being absolute nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishounen_curious/pseuds/bishounen_curious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yep, never had he felt more out of place.</p><p>But it was understandable. This was the first time they’d be alone together since they had started dating two weeks ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i brought cookies

**Author's Note:**

> -hilary duff muffled in the distance- _LET’S GO BACK, BACK TO THE BEGINNING_ ~ This is way early in the volleyball dads timeline! Takes place very soon after [ The ‘How We Got Together Story’](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3800935) which was the first installment of this shitty series. wow. omg. babies. so smol first years daichi and suga, awkward and in love. so sexually inexperienced and emotionally vulnerable. yes. small children. yes.
> 
> also based loosely on a real life event from my awkward sexual history. except this went a whole lot better for these two nerds than it did for me
> 
> enjoy this monster. i'm thinking too much about it so i just needed to post it

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Suga’s never felt this uncomfortable in his life. 

It’s not as bad as that time he spilled his smoothie all over an elderly woman on the train. Definitely not as awkward as when he was five and peed his pants at school and everyone laughed at him about it for weeks. Hell, definitely not even as awful as when he was fourteen and was watching this particular porn video where the top kept calling the bottom a _dirty fucking slut_ and Suga’s breath had hitched and he realized with horror that he was _into_ that. The name calling. Even after finishing in his hand and feeling sick to his stomach afterwards because he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that _I want someone to call me all those names and more_ , even _then_ he hadn’t felt as uncomfortable and terrible and this massive mix of every nauseating feeling in the world as he did _right now._

“I brought these.” Suga tried weakly, lifting up the crinkly, sealed cookie package in his hands with a blatantly uncomfortable shrug.

“Nice.”

Daichi smiled at him, but it wasn’t genuine at all. There was something behind the expression that he was trying to keep hidden. It was probably nerves, but Suga didn’t know that for sure. Suga could only pray his own smile didn’t look as fake.

Still, Daichi widened his front door and stepped out of the way, gesturing into his house with a noticeably lackluster, “Well, come in.”

Suga’s _thanks_ sounded so hollow as he stepped inside and kicked off his shoes.

Yep, never had he felt more out of place.

But it was understandable. This was the first time they’d be alone together since they had started dating two weeks ago.

Well, _kind of_. 

Daichi _had_ taken him out on that _date_. That _amazing_ date: the one where he brought him to his favorite noodle bar, where they held hands as they walked around town and talked for hours, where Suga eventually and spontaneously pulled them into a cafe and ordered an ice cream sundae to share, and Daichi insisted on paying for it, where he dropped Suga off really late at night, hugged him tightly and kissed him chastely on the mouth. _That date_. Suga still was swooning over it. 

It had been more than he could’ve hoped for, more than he deserved. Daichi was just too perfect; he could’ve had anyone and here he was with _him_. Suga’s heart still had problems handling that: so much stupid fluttering happened inside his ribcage on an hourly basis it was ridiculous.

But that wasn’t the only instance. Of course they had been alone during after-practice stops to the corner store to get snacks. Eating lunch together outside, shoulders touching, maybe a kiss to the cheek when they were sure no one was watching. They’d been alone since Daichi asked him out.

But never had they been alone with the intention of fooling around looming over them like a ghost.

It was a Sunday, and they had been texting ever since Suga had woken up to Daichi’s good morning message. They chatted about school assignments, volleyball stuff, just stupid small talk, things they had been talking about since they became friends over a year ago.

But then they started on the topic of the team party on Friday night. How they both promised each other they wouldn’t drink that night (because alcohol had caused enough problems already). How then they followed through with the promise, their plastic cups filled up with nothing but juice and soda, how they had cuddled into each other all night because they _could_. How that before they went home they both found themselves angling in for a kiss. A long, nice kiss. With hands on the small of each other’s backs and cupping the curves of their necks.

Talking about that over text had made Suga’s stomach a little warm, himself a little more confident. So when he texted Daichi after lunch something a little more forward, he hadn’t been so anxious about it.

_> >i liked kissing you goodnight on friday_

He swore his heart stopped beating when his phone buzzed seconds later.

_> >i like kissing u. i like u_

And that’s when things went downhill.

_> >so what’re you doing today???_

_> >finishing hw haha_

_> >me too ;)_

_> >cool_

_> >i only have a little bit left_

Suga had felt nonsensically giddy when he had sent that to Daichi. Why? Because it was an invitation. For what? For a lot of things. But hopefully Daichi was smart enough to be able to find exactly what he was getting at in between the lines.

_> >when ur done u should come over_

Suga had actually, physically _gasped_ when he received that text. Daichi wanted him to come over to his house. To see him. To talk to him. 

Probably to kiss him, too.

Suga had squeezed at his thighs with his suddenly very-clammy hands. Hopefully _more_ than just kiss. A lot more.

_> >i’ll go as fast as i can! :)_

Suga hadn’t cared how desperate that had sounded. (and boy, did it sound desperate as hell). They were already dating, right? That didn’t matter. And besides, they hadn’t even made out sober yet. Which was really, really upsetting…

But, whatever. Hopefully they’d fix that soon (today). 

Understandably, Suga had finished his homework with less attentiveness and care than usual. The minor guilt about that was crushed by the overwhelming excitement that _I’m gonna spend my sunday making out with daichi_. Next, he had jumped into the shower: he wanted to smell nice and be clean and _oh my god what if he wants to finger me?!?!_

Immediately after that thought had popped into his brain Suga scolded himself. _No, he’s not gonna finger you today, idiot. Don’t get ahead of yourself._

Alright, fine.

But…… _just in case…_

So there was that. 

Afterwards, he had wiggled into a clean long-sleeved tee and sweatpants. He was comfortable, but still presentable. Comfy cute. And the best part was that he didn’t look like he was trying too hard (which he totally was). 

And then he texted Daichi to make sure he was ready and Daichi said _yes_ so.

He ran out the door.

But then he ran back in and grabbed an unopened package of cookies from the cupboard because _what if I look really rude without bringing anything??_ and remembered to say bye to his confused parents.

 _Then_ he hauled his scrawny ass to Daichi’s as quickly as possible.

Like, really _really quickly._

By the time he was almost there was when the nerves invaded his gut and tightened-up his throat and made him reevaluate every thought and emotion he had had all day.

Even as Daichi was leading him to his bedroom (something they’ve done hundreds of times for after-school homework sessions or movie nights or whatever) Suga still felt like he should go home. 

_What if I’m bad? What if it’s awkward?_

_What if he doesn’t like me anymore after this?_

No. No, he couldn’t dwell on this.

(Not yet, at least.)

“Thanks for the cookies.” Daichi said as a very delayed afterthought as they clunked up the stairs. Suga laughed. It sounded a little too pitchy to not be awkward.

“It was no problem. They were just in my house.”

“Still.”

Suga really wanted to die.

They got to Daichi’s room way too fast. When they stepped past the threshold, Daichi automatically closed the door. 

_Oh my god. He closed the door._

Suga was staring at the cookies in his hands because he couldn’t look anywhere else. The cookies were safe. Chocolate chip. Very safe. 

Daichi’s face? Not very. Not safe at all.

They were both silent for what seemed like forever. Daichi was standing too many steps away from him, and didn’t seem to plan on getting any closer. Not that Suga was getting closer either, but it didn’t matter. This was suffocating. He had to leave. _Now._

But all he managed to do was to utter an unintelligent, “Uhm.”

_Oh my fucking god._

Daichi didn’t say anything. But from the way he tensed all of the sudden, from what Suga could see out of the corner of his eye, it wasn’t good.

He was about to apologize, to throw the cookie packaged onto his boyfriend’s bed and sprint out of the house as fast as he realistically could when Daichi beat him to the punch.

“I’m so sorry.”

Why was Daichi apologizing??

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Daichi’s was tripping over his hurried words, “I don’t know how this is supposed to work and I don’t want to mess it up.”

Suga somehow gained the courage to lift his gaze up to meet Daichi’s. His face was pale, his fingers wringing together at his waist and suddenly everything made sense.

Suga started to laugh.

Daichi paled even more.

_Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right reaction. Shit, rewind that._

“No! It’s okay!” Suga amended between an anxiety-ridden, yet simultaneously-relieved and amused laugh, “It’s fine, Daichi, it’s _fine_.”

“I just… don’t know what to do.” Daichi looked so vulnerable; he never looked vulnerable.

“I don’t either. Can’t you tell?”

“But…” Daichi tried, his shoulders still unnaturally hunched and his knuckles white, “We should know how to hang out. We’re friends - we’ve been friends for almost a year. This is _stupid_. It’s so embarrassing.”

“Yeah,” Suga agreed, looking back down at the cookies, “But we’ve only been dating for two weeks.”

Daichi didn’t say anything to that.

“We just,” Suga bit his lip, not knowing where all this bravery was coming from “need to figure out how boyfriends _hang out_.”

They were both skirting around the issue. Suga was and so was Daichi. It was frustrating - except (in the far corner of his brain) Suga almost kinda liked it. It was like teasing. Like they were playing with each other. Pushing each other to take the next step.

When he looked back up he noticed Daichi’s face was burning red.

“Right?” Suga asked gingerly, feeling some anxiety diffusing through him in a new form of jittery tension.

“You’re right.”

Suga carefully placed the cookies down on Daichi’s semi-cluttered desk. He turned around and smiled, tugging apprehensively at the hem of his shirt because he didn’t know what to do with his hands. “Do you wanna try to hang out like boyfriends?”

Daichi didn’t look like he was breathing but still he somehow managed to reply. “Yes.”

Baby steps. They were taking baby steps.

Suga breathed, breathing enough for both him and Daichi, and went towards the door. Daichi’s expression was nothing but nervous confusion, but then Suga sent him (what he hoped was a) reassuring smile and flipped the light switch off.

Daichi sucked in a breath.

“Yeah?” Suga asked.

“Yeah.”

Having the lights off really didn’t change that much. It was still daytime, and the sun continued streaming heedlessly and surely through the big double casement window facing the street in the room. But things were just a little more shadowed, and just the act of flipping it off made things just feel easier. Less awkward. More confident in what this actually was.

Baby steps.

Daichi tentatively stepped towards Suga, then. For all the bravado and coyness he just displayed his heart started to pound, harsh and terrified as Daichi got closer with this unreadable expression and -

\- he grabbed Suga’s hand and pulled him towards his bed.

Suga almost vomited. 

“We’re gonna do this right.” Daichi’s voice was thick with _something_.

“What?” Suga swallowed as he was forced to sit down on the springy mattress. They were facing each other, their thighs almost touching. So close.

(But not close enough.)

“This boyfriend thing.” Daichi explained, all seriously, “We didn’t start it the best way…”

Flashbacks of all those parties, all that touching and kissing and alcohol, all those months of not saying anything to each other when they were sober, all that _crying_ he did when he was alone because he liked Daichi so much but he was positive that he didn’t like him back.

Yeah, they definitely didn’t start things off the best way.

“No, we didn’t.”

“So… I wanna fix it.” Daichi offered, this look in his eyes that Suga couldn’t exactly place and made his stomach quiver in a new way that was more hopeful than scared, “Pretend we’ve never kissed before.”

Suga blinked, “Then I have to pretend that our first date didn’t happen.”

Daichi flushed, but his face seemed to relax. “No, you can remember that. That was the one good part that’s happened.”

“Honestly, though.”

“Just… forget all that stuff at the parties.”

That Suga could do.

“Okay?” Daichi asked in a quieter way, his voice less steady and his hand inching closer to Suga’s.

“Okay,” Suga echoed back, and took a leap and nudged their fingers together, winding them together.

Daichi smiled brightly, “I really like you.”

Suga could taste his own heartbeat. “I like you, too.”

And then Daichi leaned in and the next thing Suga knew was that their lips were touching.

He had been expecting this, the kiss. It was so tense between them, so much anticipation, there was no way he could _not_ be expecting it. But, _still_. Kissing Daichi was something he’d done a couple of times before, but every time he never really found himself ready for it.

And it was always so _warm_. Daichi’s whole body was _always_ warm. It felt really nice. Nice enough that Suga couldn’t refrain from pushing closer, tilting his head more and trying to get the brunette to open his mouth, to steal all that incredible heat for himself.

When Daichi finally let him in, Suga sighed into the kiss. He squeezed Daichi’s fingers and scooted closer. _Yes. Good._

Daichi’s other hand eventually found itself on Suga’s thigh and simply rested there, heavy and warm and surprisingly confident. Suga felt his face color. But, he let the hand stay there. _You can do this. Just do what you want with me._

_Please._

They’d never kissed like this sober before. There’d always been that extra boldness from the alcohol, that absence of inhibitions, that oozy flood of attraction that fixated Suga’s mind on the desire to kiss someone, someone he _liked_ , someone with brown hair and an easy-going personality and an innate ability to lead. 

And that someone had always seemed to react to the alcohol-induced buzz the same way, because it was so hysterically simple how this mess had started. That _laughter_ , those _heads-resting-on-shoulders moments_ , that split-second where the laughter and joking around _stopped_ , and how their faces just seemed to gravitate to each other’s until there wasn’t any space left to overcome. 

They’d kissed like this before, a lot sloppier than this, and tasting like whatever they’d been downing that night.

It was funny, Suga mused, that Daichi didn’t normally taste like beer. 

He tasted like _skin_. Wet skin. And maybe like salty potato chips (it’s all he eats at home, so that wasn’t surprising in the least).

Suga liked knowing this.

But… what did _he_ taste like? Toothpaste? He brushed his teeth before this… oh god, he hoped he didn’t taste gross…

But suddenly Daichi slid closer, and the hand that had bravely landed on his thigh was brought up to the back of Suga’s neck. He pulled back, and asked into Suga’s jaw, his breath a little unsteady, “Can I?”

“What?” Suga exhaled, his voice just as hushed, brain a little fuzzy from the kiss. What was he saying yes to?

“Your hair. Can I -“

“Yeah, please.” Suga swallowed the excess spit in his mouth, some of it definitely not originally his (why the _fuck_ was that kinda _hot_?).

Daichi, relieved, nodded and allowed his fingers to entangled themselves into the hair at the base of Suga’s skull. He played with it, gently brushing the strands around, experimenting. Suga’s mouth open, a nice feeling draining through him, a little noise kept hushed inside his throat.

“Is this okay?” Daichi asked more nervously than he should’ve.

“It feels nice,” was all he could manage without embarrassing himself.

“Yeah?”

“Keep doing that.”

“While we -?”

“ -Yeah,” Suga exhaled shakily, hands cupping Daichi’s cheek and neck and bringing himself in to initiate another kiss, “Keep doing-“

Daichi cut him off, and Suga released the noise into Daichi’s mouth. But he didn’t let himself hang up on that one little sound: Suga just went with the flow,. It was impossible not to.

As time passed things were getting easier. Neither of them were particularly good kissers at the moment, but they were rapidly familiarizing themselves with what was working. And Daichi simultaneously was learning just how to treat his scalp, how to pull, when and how hard.

Suga was doing his best not to openly moan from all the hair play. But it was making heat in his tummy stir and soon all he wanted was for Daichi to be doing things besides _kissing_. More things. More things lower down, below the waist, with his hands, maybe his mouth-

\- but then Suga cried out into the kiss when Daichi yanked a fistful of his hair. 

Suga pulled away because he was horrified with himself, horrified by the sound and how he could feel his underwear instantly getting tighter and _oh my god kill me._

“Shit,” Daichi flinched away from Suga like he was afraid of touching him, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

 _Oh, jeez._ Shame crept up his neck. “No, it’s okay. It wasn’t -“

“You seemed to be liking it so I tried doing it more but I went overboard, I’m sorry-“

“No, Daichi, I…”

“- It won’t happen again -“

“Daichi, n-no. I _liked_ it.”

“…?”

“I… liked it.” It was impossible to look him in the eye, “a lot.”

“But you _yelled_ -“

“Well yeah, but… it was a good yell.”

“What - _oh_.” It was cute watching things click in his brain. Daichi swallowed, looking at Suga with new light before he remarked, “That was loud.”

“I can’t help it, jerk,” Suga grumbled with absolutely no bite.

“So…” Daichi smiled in this wobbly way, a proud looking way that made Suga’s blood warm, “you like that.”

“Yeah, I do.” Suga admitted, “I like a lot of things. What about you?”

“Um.” Daichi blinked, this empty look overtaking his earlier display of pride. Instead he bit the inside of his lip and after a quiet moment mumbled out, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Suga questioned, just as perplexed.

“Am I supposed to…?”

Suga’s eyes widened. This was unexpected, to say the least. “There isn’t anything you like? Like physical things?”

“I mean _Ilikekissingyou_.” Daichi flushed.

Suga didn’t fail to reciprocate the blush, but did his best to stay on subject, “Me too, but… a lot of people like kissing. And. Y’know.” Fuck, that just made him turn redder. “But there’s nothing that you, um, know you like? Specifically? Like I’m into my hair getting played with and… other stuff.”

“What other stuff?” Daichi shot back, eager to latch onto a new topic that wasn’t about his own lack of self-awareness. “Have you ever done things with someone else?”

Suga visibly flinched. “No! Never. You’re the first person. I’ve. Y’know.”

“Oh… wait so how do you-“

“…I just do, okay?”

“But how-“

“Daichi.” Suga pleaded. “Can we not?”

“Why- _oh_.. Is it from…. oh, _fuck_.”

Suga looked away. Why did he even bring this up, anyway?

Daichi cleared his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“-It’s fine.”

Another awkward silence permeated the bedroom. “Um… well, I do that too. Just saying.”

Suga chuckled a little, still a-flush from embarrassment. “I figured. A lot of people do.”

Daichi nodded. “So you… found out that way? About the things you like?”

“I mean… yeah. A couple.”

“…Can you tell me?” Daichi licked the inside of his cheek. “I wanna know so… I can make you feel good.”

This unbelievable. Was Daichi secretly an angel that fell from heaven or something? Why was he so good?

(And so easy to mess with?)

“No,” Suga shrugged not able to keep a smirk off his face, “You have to figure them out on your own.”

“Do I get more than one chance to find them out?” Daichi hovered in closer, an excited glow in his face, an optimistic twinkle in his eyes.

Suga’s own happy grin fell into place easily as he teased, “Oh, so this _isn’t_ a one-and-done thing? I thought today was the only day we were ever gonna make out.”

“Not at all! I wanna do this kinda stuff with you. A lot. ‘Cause I like you and I’ve wanted to for a while and - I’m gonna stop talking now…”

Giggles bubbled over and out of Suga’s throat and he pulled Daichi’s face closer so he could peck his lips and lean their foreheads together. “I feel the same way, don’t worry.”

“The _liking me_ part? Or the _wanting to do stuff_ part?”

“Both?”

Daichi’s smile got even wider. “You’re amazing.”

“You’re just saying that because I let you kiss me.”

“You caught me.”

“Hey!’

“Hey, yourself!” 

And then the brunette embarked on a spontaneous mission to tickle Suga to death, his fingers going to town on his ribcage. 

Suga shrieked and tried to squirm away, but he was trapped. Daichi’s leg was pinning him down and he ended up falling backwards since it was his only defensive option. With a victorious whoop, Daichi managed to completely pin him down and make him suffer his wrath. Suga squeaked, tears welling up in his eyes from all his laughter, struggling to flee because he couldn’t take it anymore _oh my god hahahahah! it almost hurts stop daichi c’mon!_

Eventually, he did stop, mirth bubbling out of his mouth, hovering over Suga with this self-satisfied smile.

Both of them stayed still for awhile, trying to regain their breathing through stray giggles and pants.

The situation eventually caught up with them.

Daichi was positioned on Suga’s thighs, keeping him still while Suga was on his back, staring up at Daichi, a lump suddenly in his throat.

It’s like a bad movie.

_But I kinda dig it._

Suga became very, very aware that Daichi was staring down at his lips. He wasn’t even trying to be discreet. Suga lolled his head to the side and covered his mouth because the attention was making him bashful, frantically searching for something interesting on Daichi’s wall as he tip-toed around what he wanted to say, “Um… remember what I just said?”

“About what?”

“About finding out my _things_?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Well, you just found one…”

Although he couldn’t see his expression, he didn’t need to figure out that there was pure incredulity on his boyfriend’s face. “I-I did? What did I do?”

“ _Doing_. What you’re doing right now.”

“I’m just sitting on you.”

“… _I know_.” Suga was thankful they weren’t making eye contact.

“…What?”

“I like being underneath people… weighed down. _Held_ down.”

Daichi inhaled sharply. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Daichi’s eyes drifted downward and skimmed Suga’s body. The quietness was thick in the air, and Suga felt a little sick all of a sudden. _He’s gonna think I’m such a weirdo._

But if he was thinking that, he didn’t vocalize it. All he did was wordlessly readjust himself on Suga: transferring the bulk of his weight onto Suga’s hips, more comfortable now, and certainly more deliberate. A small sound rumbled in Suga’s chest and he finally could flick his gaze back to meet the other’s face. Daichi wore this nervous expression as he asked, “Is this better…?”

“Yeah, _wow_.”

Another awkward silence descended upon them.

“Um…How do you find out you like being held down by just masturbating, anyway?”

“Oh my god we’re not talking about this!” Suga hid his face again because there was no way in hell he could look the other in the eye.

Daichi didn’t say anything to the outburst, he just sat there quietly while Suga experienced his soul leaving his body. Yet another silence overtook the room. The subdued sound of a car passing was the only other noise beside their mingled breathing.

Again it was the brunette who broke the awkwardness, “I wanna do something else.”

Still with the heels of his palms pressed into his eyes, Suga froze.

 _Oh my god oh my fucking god he wants to grind. That’s what he wants of course. Please god please I wanna feel him against me_. 

“Just do it, don’t tell me.”

Daichi swooped in, arching his back forward as he caught Suga’s mouth in yet another deep kiss.

_Oh._

Suga moaned and coaxed Daichi’s mouth open with his own, and soon enough they were making out again. Suga waited patiently for Daichi to shift again, to press into him, to rut his hips into his, get all that friction and pleasure and watch Daichi’s face contort as he got closer and closer to an orgasm that Suga would be partially responsible for.

But that didn’t happen. They were just making out.

(Which wasn’t a bad thing by far. Why was he so greedy today?) 

Daichi had his hands on his head, playing with his scalp as their mouths moved together. Which was fantastic but Suga was honestly a little disappointed they weren't dry humping each other.

After a couple of minutes, Daichi broke away and whispered, “I like kissing you.”

_Oh._

“Me too.”

“But this is kinda a sucky position. Can I-?” Daichi fumbled around on the bed and suddenly he was lying horizontal with more weight on Suga’s body, chests flush and hips puzzle-pieced together, just _snug_. “Good?”

“Uhuh.”

“Can we keep going?” Daichi ventured, voice soft, hands running up and down Suga’s sides. Suga hummed, initiating the kiss this time because it was about damn time he made the first move. Plus, he needed a distraction from all the weight and the touching and _wow fuck I’m getting harder and Daichi’s gonna feel it._

They’ were both getting really into it. The kissing was more frantic, there was a lot more tongue (too much? just enough? Suga still wasn’t sure) and their hands weren’t so passive anymore. Suga’s fingers crawled up beneath the hem of Daichi’s shirt and traced up his back muscles in a way that was more scratchy and gropey than plain nice. And Daichi released low noises like it was the first time they were kissing like this, touching like this. And it is, sober at least. He squeezed at Suga’s sides and Suga clamped his eyes closed because _wow alright I didn’t know that sucking face felt this amazing_.

They’re moaning. Both of them were. Suga was making the boy he liked moan. Making him want to kiss him, touch him, _everything him_. It was so much better than he could’ve ever imagined it would be.

They were like this for a long, comfortable while. Just kissing, trying new things with their mouths. Suga heard that sucking on someone’s tongue was good, so he tried it, slowed down the kiss and begged silently _trust me_ and Daichi _did_. When he tried it, Daichi shivered and pulled away with blown, brown pupils staring Suga down.

Suga licked his own bottom lip. “Can I do it again?”

Daichi said nothing, just pressing back closer as his answer. Suga retook his tongue back into his mouth and sucked harder and more surely this time, and Daichi groaned, clearly pleasured from the lilt in his tone.

Suga stopped breathing when he registered that Daichi was _hard_.

Suga’s blood pulsed hotly through him like a harsh drum. His boyfriend felt good because of him, good enough to get an erection, and Suga for some inexplicably ridiculous reason became overwhelmed. All the sensation and experimentation and the needs and just how much Daichi meant to him whirled tightly, wonderful-hot in his gut and Suga found himself breaking the kiss and rolling the brunette off of him, needing to give him more.

Daichi protested a little, (well, more like confusedly whined because he was enjoying that) but Suga shushed him and climbed onto his hips this time and immediately hawked down and latched onto Daichi’s neck with his lips, suctioning kisses against the skin because _he absolutely needed to_.

Daichi’s exhale rattled through his open mouth. He arched his neck back, his body language screaming _what the hell are you doing but also please don’t stop_. Suga took advantage of the new space to work with and concentrated kisses up and down the entire length of his neck. Daichi’s throat was burning hot, and the taste of skin, _Daichi’s skin_ , just spurred Suga on more. He was careful to not bite, not unless Daichi asked.

And Daichi didn’t say much of anything, he just let Suga devour him. His muscles went taut, however, when Suga got close to his ears. They seemed to be overly sensitive (which Suga committed immediately into his long-term memory). At some point Daichi’s hands had reclaimed their spot in his hair and started to guide Suga along, showing rather than telling what spots he enjoyed having attention on. Daichi prevented him from straying too far away from his ears.

It was a while before either of them said anything. And then, the brunette moaned, “Did you leave a hickey?”

Suga pulled away to give himself room to examine his handiwork. Nope. Not a single one. If anything the skin was just a little shiny with saliva and pink due to increased blood from the stimulation. “Do you want one?”

“…I’ve never had one, so… Yeah.”

Suga smiled. “Okay. Lemme do a small one. If you like it, I can leave more.”

Daichi nodded as Suga descended back down and gently brushed along his throat until he came across a sensitive spot right below where their school uniform collars theoretically would end ( _hopefully I’m judging this right_ ) so it wouldn’t be displayed for everyone tomorrow. _Sorry, Daichi. No near-the-ear hickeys for now_. He gave the flesh a tentative lick, and Daichi snorted, ticklish. But then he wasn’t laughing when Suga bit down and sucked on his neck.

“I like that.” Daichi said, tilting his head back, voice a little strained with something like awe. “Can you try harder?”

Suga followed the suggestion and bit down harder, hard enough to almost hurt. In a knee-jerk reaction Suga felt a squeeze against his side and was blessed enough to hear Daichi moan his name.

Suga started to sweat.

He let the skin free and gave the spot a gentle wet kiss before inspecting the mark. The patch of flesh was glimmering with spit even in the darkened room, and a little darkish bruise was starting to form. Suga grinned and gave his boyfriend a thumbs up. “How does having your first hickey feel?”

Daichi looked so pleased. “Great.” His hand smoothed up and down Suga’s side (which _wow that was really nice_ ) and then added, “It also makes me wanna give you one.”

Suga laughed. “Does it, now?”

“Can I?”

Suga patted the top of Daichi’s head, “I would love my second hickey to come from you.”

Daichi blinked, his happy expression split. “Who was your first from…?”

 _He doesn’t remember….? Shit, shit shit._

“…You.”

“What?” Daichi bolted up and almost bumped noses with him in the process. “I gave you a hickey before? When?!”

This was not what he wanted to be explaining right now. It had been another one of those things that had contributed to his maelstrom of confused feelings, another thing that made him tear up over before he fell asleep. But Suga put on a brave face and tried to keep his voice from cracking. “It was awhile ago. At captain’s house. We were both really drunk, and we both ended up in the bathroom and we were making out and. Um. I don’t really remember but the next morning I had a huge mark right here,” he pointed to a small section on the left bottom half on his neck, almost on his shoulder, “and it didn’t go away for a couple of days.”

It looked like something had collided full-force into Daichi’s gut. “…I don’t remember that at all.”

“I don’t remember it happening. So. It’s fine, I guess.”

“It’s not, though. I’m sorry.” Daichi sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, suddenly so tired as he bemoaned, “Why were we stupid?”

 _Now that’s the million dollar question_. “I have no idea.”

The sunlight was starting to bleed into a warmer, more orangey hues. It must’ve been later than he thought: how long had they been in here? It felt like hours. It may just have well as been. The only thing that had been marking time for Suga had been breaks in between kisses. 

Daichi took a deep breath, and finally asked, “Can we not be stupid anymore?”

Suga showed his teeth when he smiled. “Sure.”

A genuine smile curled on the brunette’s lips. Suga’s heartbeat started to quicken because his boyfriend was so cute and he had such a nice smile and he had these _dimples_ and just _wow_. 

He didn’t warn Daichi as he dipped down to leave a few more bites along the lower area of his neck. Daichi was back to clutching his sides and stroking up his back and something like a mixture of laughter and moans were pouring out of him in no time. It made Suga giggle into his neck.

“I thought it was my turn?” Daichi managed between blithe groans.

“Gimme another minute. I like doing this to you.” Suga innocently pecked a fresher, bigger bite he had just left near the other’s collarbone.

“Fine… You’re great at this by the way,” Daichi hummed, Suga’s shirt bunched in his hands, “But I’m sure you knew that already.”

“Obviously. And thank you!” Suga decided to travel up to Daichi’s right ear and laved his tongue around the delicate skin. Daichi must’ve been waiting for him to return back to his ears, because the overly-thankful groan that rushed through his nose was proof enough when he did. Hands-down it was the most relieved noise Suga had ever heard. 

Daichi’s knees, as Suga made wet lewd sounds as he played with his earlobe, bent up and pressed into Suga’s hips. Daichi pulled him closer, keeping him there with his thighs, and emitted tiny back-of-the-throat moans as Suga didn’t let up on the relentless affection.

Fuck. 

But what was even hotter about this? There was a half-hard lump smooshed up against his own _very hard lump_. Double fuck.

Both of them were unnaturally still as they necked. Yeah… it was kinda funny from an outside point of view (but neither of them had that perspective at the moment) so it was just nerve-wracking. There had been a lot of drunk groping between them but not really anything had happened. Also drunk groping didn’t count. (Because doing things sober was so much better.)

But sober was also _scarier_. When you’re sober you remember your self-consciousness and anxieties and your fears and you hesitate.

What if today they ended up touching each other? Oh god what if he was _bad_ at it? He wasn’t ready for this.

( _Shut up you showered because you hoped he’d finger you._ )

He tried to hide by getting closer to Daichi’s ear. And to justify his cowardly move, he snatched the shell of his ear between his teeth and worried it (because he’d read about that in an online article and he just wanted Daichi to melt like the author said the recipient of it would.)

Daichi didn’t quite melt, exactly. But his muscles seized up, he gasped and reared his hips up and into Suga’s, all in one fluid motion.

Suga’s brain stopped working. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!” Daichi blurted out, trying to turn his face away in shame. “It just happened - you’re really good at this and I just- sorry…”

“Don’t apologize.” Suga croaked. 

“Are you okay?” Daichi’s fingertips hesitantly touched Suga’s cheek, “You sound like you’re not okay…”

“No I’m just,” and Suga’s voice dropped down to an inaudible decibel as he admitted, “ _I’m so turned on_.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Suga, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“No it’s fine!” Suga withdrew away and laughed too loudly, spoke too quickly. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Daichi _wanted him_. He was outright saying it, and Suga felt it., too. _He felt it_. He heard it. And fuck he was so terrified he was _running away_. 

Suga quickly adjusted the band of his boxer briefs to hide how obviously aroused he was, how he already was _leaking_ , and just distanced himself from the bed. Literally running away. Because he wasn’t ready for Daichi to feel him like that, to know how readily his body reacted when it came to sexual situations, how sensitive he was, how if Daichi touched him he’d probably come in .5 seconds, how he was such a gross disaster that Daichi simply wasn’t ready for. 

“Want a cookie?” Suga asked from across the room, his smile painfully huge.

“What?” Daichi sat up in bed, his face twisted up in what looked like fear, hurt and a whole lot of uncertainty.

“I want a snack! It’s a good time for a snack break, don’t you think?” Suga babbled on, unceremoniously tearing open the package with an obnoxiously-loud plastic tearing wail. He snatched one cookie out and shoved it in his mouth whole. He barely chewed it before he swallowed. “Wow these are so great you should try one!” And immediately shoved another in his mouth to keep himself from talking.

“Suga…”

“Wee-ree!” Suga held out the package from where he was standing, crumbles flying out with the words. 

“What’re you doing?”

Suga didn’t know what to say that would fix this situation. He just gulped down the cookie, practically unchewed.

“We don’t have to do this.” Daichi said, awkwardly, quietly. “I’m sorry I pressured you…”

“You didn’t!” Suga exclaimed with his mouth full of his third half-eaten chocolate chip cookie in the last fifteen seconds.

“You just ran away from me.” Daichi sounded so deflated. “Literally.”

“No, I wanted a snack!” Suga protested, dropping the cookie package back onto the desk with a noisy thud. “I didn’t run away.”

“You’re still over there.” Daichi argued. “Yes, you _did_.”

“I’m finishing my cookie!”

“Do people even take a snack break while they’re in the middle of hooking up with someone?”

Suga wanted to throw up the cookies he just inhaled. “Um.”

Daichi dragged his hands over his face. “Sorry. That was mean. I just… we don’t have to keep going.”

 _No no no_. He didn’t want to stop. Not really. Yeah, maybe he had run away. Maybe he was really self-conscious. Maybe there were a lot of things he was petrified of, unsure of. But he also wanted to do these things. _Really bad_. He still wanted to kiss Daichi, leave more marks up and down his neck, make him make those noises….

He just was anxious of having that situation reversed.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” was all Suga could manage.

Daichi blinked. “I didn’t tell you to.”

“But if we stopped -“

“Just because we’re not doing this doesn’t mean we can’t hang out… Suga, _no_. We’re still friends.” Daichi reassured him, “ _Best friends_. That happen to like each other more than friends.”

“I know that.” Suga quipped back, sounding pathetic.

“Do you?” Daichi asked quietly. “I… we still need to figure things out. But… at least I think that just because we’re dating doesn’t mean things have to change so much…”

Suga balled his fingers into his sweatpants pockets. The action was more grounding than he thought it would be. “We just kiss and touch each other now. That’s the only difference.”

“…Is that okay?”

Suga nodded, because at least he was sure of that. “I like this kinda stuff with you…”

“I do, too.”

Suga glanced up at the ceiling because he couldn’t say this while making eye-contact, “I wanna try more stuff with you, too.”

A beat. “Me too.”

As he stared at the ceiling, he attempted to organized his thoughts and feelings. Why was Daichi so good at this? Communicating and being honest and just being so sweet? It made him feel like grade-A garbage for pulling this kind of crap. _Fuck_. He was such a loser. A loser incapable of being in a relationship “Can we… go back to kissing?”

“Yes. But you have to do something first.”

“What?”

“Bring me two cookies.” Daichi deadpanned, pointing at the forgotten package on his desk. 

But the seriousness didn’t last for long because it cracked away into a fit of giggles.

And it was infectious, too, because Suga started giggling and he picked up the cookie package and padded back to Daichi’s bed on his socked feet and sat on the edge. He passed it to Daichi and the brunette extracted three cookies instead of two. Suga snickered some more and Daichi did as well as he ate. Suga grabbed another chocolate chip cookie and bit into it, and actually was aware the taste of the melty chocolate on his tongue. 

“These are delicious.”

“Mm.” Suga shrugged. “Sorry I used them as a means of escape.”

Daichi almost choked on the cookie in his mouth he was laughing so much.

As Daichi calmed down and traded in his giggles for a pleased look, Suga suddenly felt compelled to strike back, rock the boat, “And sorry I freaked out when our boners touched.”

Daichi was hysterical again. And Suga was too.

Their sides were cramping with the intensity of their laughing fit, but neither of them cared. Because things weren’t so awkward anymore. The tension was broken. And it didn’t seem so unconquerable that they were dating. They were still friends. They still acted like idiots together, and that was unfathomably reassuring (at least to Suga).

“You’re so -” Daichi wheezed.

“Funny?” Suga prompted. “Cute? Irresistible?”

“Shut up.” Daichi cradled his own face in his hands and tried to get all the hysterics out of his system. Suga patted his dark head, which made Daichi peer up, face all flushed as he declared. “We both suck.”

“Yep, we do.” Suga said. “Do you think if we started to make out again it’d taste like chocolate?”

Daichi bit his bottom lip, giggles slipping through his nose. “I hope so.”

“Wanna find out?” Suga tempted, scooting closer.

“I was hoping you’d ask.” 

And then they were kissing again. And it did taste just a bit sweeter.

They were horizontal again and Daichi was on top again, but lips not on lips anymore. Daichi was nosing around Suga’s neck, kissing anywhere and everywhere. Suga tilted his head back into the mattress, giving Daichi more room. More room to kiss and mark him up. Mark up his entire neck. He wanted to be covered in hickeys. _Everywhere_. Too many. He wanted to see them, remember _how_ they got there, think about _who_ gave them to him and _why_. 

“Hickey,” all Suga said.

When Daichi obeyed and sunk his teeth into the side of his neck and started to suck, Suga’s eyes fluttered shut with a uncensored moan. Daichi hummed into his neck appreciatively as he caressed Suga’s arm and shoulder.

“Bite harder.” Suga whispered under his breath, hands weaving into Daichi’s cropped hair. “Harder than you think you should.”

Daichi paused. “If it hurts let me know, okay?”

“I will.”

Daichi selected a new spot, lower than the first one and followed the instructions given. Suga’s mouth parted in a silent sound at the new pressure. But still it wasn’t _enough_ , he wanted to feel _more_. “Harder.”

And Daichi listened.

A strangled sound, almost a shout, a _very pleasured shout_ and Suga was melting into the bed springs. It was a lot, almost painfully so, but it hadn’t crossed that threshold yet. Suga’s belly was filling with heat, his toes curling in his socks, his legs doing what Daichi’s had done earlier, except this time they were wrapping around Daichi’s waist because he wanted Daichi to know that this was good, that this was what he liked. 

He also wanted to tell himself that this was okay. That they both were just trying things, taking turns, experimenting within the safety of their own boundaries.

(Suga wanted to widen his boundaries though. Wanted Daichi to test them for him.)

Daichi pulled away, his breath inexplicably unsteady. “That wasn’t a bad sound, right?”

“No.” Suga assuaged, adjusting his legs, reminding Daichi yet again that their hips were sandwiched together. That they could feel each other. Really feel. “It was a _you’re doing everything right_ sound.”

Daichi looked relieved. “You sure? I feel like I’m hurting you.”

And maybe Suga watched too many stupid romance movies or had watched too much bad porn or was fed up of being so pathetic and scared today, but he found himself rocking into Daichi’s crotch and whispering into his ear, “Does it seem like I’m in pain?”

Daichi whimpered, his eyes wide, gaping at Suga like he was a stranger. And Suga’s brain was frazzled and short-circuiting because _what the hell is wrong with me?_

But Daichi cut off his internal self-deprecating monologue and canted his hips and both of them moaned from the sensation. 

It was eerily silent until Daichi said somewhere between a swallow breath, “I wanna give you an orgasm.”

Suga was sure he had died at some point during the hickey.

“I don’t have to today! I’m just telling you what’s on my mind. Because I wanna be honest with you. And I wanna make you feel good and I like hearing you make those noises. Because they’re hot.”

“…How?”

“How do I like your noises?”

“No. _How_.” Suga could barely speak. “Make me come, I mean.”

Daichi held his breath. “I don’t know.”

“You sure?” Suga prompted, voice hushed, running his hands up and down Daichi’s neck. “You sure you don’t know?”

“Whatever you want, I’ll do it. As long as you’re comfortable.”

Suga shook his head. “No, tell me what you wanna do to me.”

“I did.” Daichi was exasperated. “ _Give you an orgasm._ ”

Suga swallowed again. Okay. Maybe it was too early in the game for dirty talk. Or maybe Daichi was just bad at it.. That’s fine. He could work with that. “I want you to do that.”

Daichi’s face lit up. He leaned down and started to kiss Suga again for the umpteenth time, and Suga clung to the brunette for dear life. He was thrilled that both of them were grinding, finally. Not quite a rhythm, more tentative hip rolls that were more like realizations that _this isn’t so bad_ and _fuck this feels out of this world_.

But the problem with the hip rolls was that they felt good. So good. And that made them lose coordination with the kiss, and it quickly devolved into more of a tongue-touching, saliva-swapping and breathing-into-each other’s mouths session. Not that either of them minded. That was good in its own way, because these sparks kept shooting down Suga’s spine and swelling into a full-feeling heat low in his gut. Pleasure from the grinding, from the way that Daichi was licking into his mouth, the way his sides were getting groped again. It was all pleasure. He was getting pleasured by someone else.

It was so much better than fucking into his own hand.

Suga’s legs pulled Daichi closer, smushing their hips more, and let his body move how it instinctively wanted to do. It was somehow more fluid and full, and _fuck_. Suga couldn’t keep up with the kiss and instead turned his head to the side and focused on his quickening breath, the sweat beading on the back of his neck. Daichi was panting above him and was holding his hips firmly and _god I want him to fuck me like this_.

Suga was swallowing all the sounds he could, and Daichi was attacking his throat, sloppily treating it to more border-line painful nips in between his own sighs. All the sounds garbled into his neck and Suga felt every single one of them pulse in his dick as Daichi’s thrust against his. 

_Daichi feels good because of me. He’s moaning. Because of me. I could make him come like this-_

But all of a sudden it wasn’t happening anymore. Daichi was stiff above him, desperate to gulp air into himself, like he had broken through the surface of a cold pool of oppressive water.

Daichi hadn’t come… _had he_ …? If he did that was really, super unfair because Suga wanted to see it happen. Watch his body shake and his face scrunch and shamelessly listen to the way it would sound when his lungs gave out. Dammit, had he _missed_ it?

“I-“ Daichi struggled, “Uh-“

“…Did you come?”

Daichi’s cheeks burned, “N-no!” He sucked in a mouthful of air and mumbled dejectedly, “I was really close though. Scary close.”

“Why didn’t you?” Suga asked. His hands went up and down Daichi’s back, trying to soothe away all the stress and not-released tension in his boyfriend’s nerves.

“…”

“What?”

“I want you to… y’know, first.”

Suga narrowed his eyes, “Why?”

“Because I said I wanted to give you an orgasm and I just… it feels wrong if I let myself have one before you did.”

“Daichi, it’s fine. You should’ve!” The unspoken words were _I wanted to watch you and jerk off to that imagine for the rest of my life!!_

“I also didn’t want to in my underwear. That’s kinda sad.”

Well. That was a valid point.

“See?! That would’ve been embarrassing!”

“Maybe,” Suga teased, “But I would’ve thought you were cute.”

“Cute?” Daichi blinked. “That’s not the word I wanna hear you use to describe me shooting my load into my pants.”

There were tears in his eyes. 

Daichi laughed a little too, but it didn’t last long. Apparently, he meant business. “I figured out what I wanna do to you.”

Suga’s heart rate skyrocketed. “Tell me!”

“Handjob.”

_Holy shit._

(He was gonna smack himself later for having thought he was even remotely ready to have Daichi shove his fingers up his ass.)

“Um,” Daichi said, and for some reason he looked panicked. _What now?_ “I don’t have to be able to see, we could go under the blanket and I could just do it and not look. Or we don’t have to it’s fine I was just offering -“

“Hey, it’s okay,” Suga wheezed, his throat too dry all of a sudden and his hands too clammy, “Don’t be nervous.”

“I don’t want to pressure you -“

“No! I want you to. To do that. I’m… I’m just nervous.”

He was such a hypocrite.

Daichi opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t. That made Suga feel even worse. 

“Because this is my first time doing something like this,” Suga said because he felt compelled to speak, to fill the silence, to purge out all the fears worming around in his heavy stomach, “and I’m scared that you’re gonna change your mind about us after we do this.”

“Suga!” _Now_ Daichi could speak, of course, “ _No_ , why would you think that?”

“Because-“ and Suga’s words caught in his throat. Because _what_? 

Because maybe he still struggled with how much he thought about sex. Because maybe he put a high value on that kind of intimacy, because it mattered to him, because to him it should be good. Because he knew he was gonna be noisy, too sensitive, acting like an embarrassing virginal idiot with no shame. And not to mention that maybe because this whole relationship didn’t start out the best way, because they were drunk and horny and that _maybe_ when they did finally engage in more and more things sober maybe Daichi would think _oh, hold on I actually don’t like you this way, sorry, pal_ , 

-

“ - I don’t know.”

Daichi’s mouth formed a line. He looked conflicted about something, like he wasn’t sure.

Suga steeled himself up to be told that he should _leave_.

But it never came.

Daichi sucked his teeth before he started speaking, careful of his word choices.

“I like you. I like you a lot, okay? And when we started going out I was so happy. And I still am. So happy. And I… I don’t want to think about us not dating. Not yet. It’s been a couple of weeks. And I know we’re still figuring things out and maybe it won’t work out but - but I know that if we decide to end it it won’t be over a stupid handjob.”

Suga was quiet for a while. What could he say? Daichi just spilled his guts and gave him everything he could’ve wanted to hear and still he still was having reservations. Why? Why did everything have to make him so anxious, _why?_ Why couldn’t he just relax for a second, let things happen because they were easy and would make him happy? 

And why couldn’t he just believe Daichi? 

Trust what he was saying?

(Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal?)

“We don’t have to do anything now.” Daichi broke his train of thought with a soft reassure. “We could watch TV or just talk about stuff or if you want you could go home. It’s up to you.”

Suga held onto Daichi closer and mumbled, “I told you, I don’t wanna go home.”

Daichi chuckled a little uneasily. “Good. I don’t want you to, either.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“Shut up.”

“Nope.”

“You’re mean, Sugawara.”

“Sawamura, that _hurts_.”

Both of them fell apart into a mess of laughter. When they both calmed down, Suga cuddled into Daichi, because his body was so warm and cozy and it made him feel physically safe. “I like you a lot, too, you know.”

Daichi smoothed along his sides. It was nice. Sleepy. Comfy. “I’m happy.”

“Me too.” And in that moment, he really was.

“Do you want me to put on a movie?”

Suga bit the inside of his cheek. Yes, he wanted to do that. Cuddling with Daichi and watching something mindless sounded good. Really good. The perfect day honestly. 

But.

_I still wanna try this._

“We could. After.” Suga ventured, voice barely a whisper.

“After?”

“The handjob.”

Daichi narrowed his eyes.

“Jobs! Handjobs plural! I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that!”

Daichi was trying not to laugh. They both had done way too much of that today. “First of all, don’t worry about it. Don’t feel obligated. Also… are you sure?”

“I’d be pretty upset with myself if I went home without taking you up on it. I’d call myself an idiot for the rest of my life.”

“Yikes, you’re tough on yourself.”

“Someone’s gotta be. All you do is shower me with compliments and sexual favors.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that.”

Suga kissed his cheek. Daichi beamed.

“I’ll take you up on that under the blanket offer.” 

“Sounds good.”

It took some time and a lot of struggling awkwardness, but both of them readjusted their limbs and ended up under the covers side by side, looking at each other with big nervous smiles.

“I’m having a heart attack,” Suga singsonged.

“Me too.”

“That’s reassuring.” 

“Ouch.”

“Just kiss me already, okay?” Suga complained.

“What? So you can be distracted while I shove my hand in your pants?”

“No! I’m trying to make this less awkward!”

“How kind of you.” And Daichi connected their lips and Suga’s retort was muffled in his throat. 

Suga moaned when Daichi went right into biting his lower lip. Little shocks of sensation burst into his belly with every pull, every drag of pressure. Daichi was such a good learner, so good, _period_. He deserved something in return. So he submerged his hand into the unknown that was the underneath of the blanket and slid up the front of Daichi’s shirt. A noise of approval left the brunette’s throat when his stomach was stroked. It was so warm and nice and Suga could feel his abs covered by the squishy layer of insulation. So fleshy and soft. Comfortable and familiar. 

Suga could get used to touching him like this.

But then Daichi’s hands were under the blanket too and Suga suddenly was growing increasingly nauseous. _Oh no no nononononono don’t throw up on him_. But Daichi’s hands ventured to his stomach instead, and stroked along his hips and his belly button. He liked that. His own stomach wasn’t as soft or pliable as Daichi’s, but Daichi didn’t seem to mind. 

Suga initiated a simpler kiss, just moving their mouths together in a familiar way. Just both of them, kissing, rubbing each other’s tummies and sides. Getting to know each other in a safe, slow way.

_If things don’t work out I don’t know what I’m gonna do._

It was the second time he had the squash down those kinds of negative thoughts. No, not now. Not while he felt happy. Not while Daichi was so close to him, because Daichi liked him and -

\- and Daichi snuck his hand down and squeezed him through his sweatpants.

Suga couldn’t stop himself from heaving into Daichi’s mouth. 

Daichi pulled away, “Yes? No?”

“Please,” Suga replied, voice weak. And in a bout of bravery he clutched onto the bands of his pants and underwear and slid them halfway down his thighs. It was all or nothing at this point (and he wanted it all). Daichi’s fingers were lingering on his lower belly, playing with the soft whispy hairs there, and he flicked his gaze up to meet Suga’s.

“Not wasting anytime, are you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I see,” was all Daichi said with a slight smirk before he buried his face into Suga’s neck and gave an experimental drag of his thumb along his shaft, then another that had Suga convulsing against him before he squeezed Suga and his swollen entirety into his fingers.

“Oh,” Suga arched into Daichi feeling his whole body ache in a way that was way too familiar but also inexplicably foreign. _Daichi’s touching me, his hand is on me he’s gripping my dick and it feels so good_.

And when Daichi’s fist started to move _holy fuck I’m dying_.

What was incredible was how hot Daichi’s hands were. His own were always kind of cold, poor circulation or some reason. They never could get warm. But Daichi’s, no. They were burning. Every part of him was, but his hands were just so much more and they were grasping him nice and firm and stroking up and down sweetly slow, spreading sweat and precum along his blood-flushed flesh. His hands were bigger than his too, callouses in different places, and it was so strangely different for it just being a hand on his dick. A hand moving and tugging and twisting and and-

_My boyfriend is jerking me off. This is probably how he touches himself, and he’s touching me the same way._

“It’s good,” Suga breathed (or struggled to), “Oh god, Daichi.”

“I’m glad,” Daichi grumbled, biting at his throat and coaxing out a keening whine. Then he moved his hand in a way and _oh my god_ his thumb was flicking his tip and Suga felt his slit ooze, and he felt filthy but also _loved_ it.

Suga panted and rocked into his boyfriend’s hand. Sometimes the strokes would speed up and then they’d slow down and drag over him like a vice and Suga was having trouble getting his blood properly oxygenated. His breathing was a mess: shallow and choked because he didn’t want to be loud. Daichi’s parents were still home and he’d die if they heard him sounding like a gross porn video in their son’s bedroom and _fuck_. He was getting lightheaded and that just made the pleasure in his gut spike and amplify into his bone marrow and Suga felt like he was losing a battle, losing _something_. 

Maybe it was nerves or not enough air or maybe Daichi knew how to really give a great hand job (which was slightly less likely but who cared) because Suga could feel his insides tightening up and his cock kept twitching and he was a leaky sweaty mess because it was hot under the blanket and Daichi was kneading his head in the way he needed him to, in a way he did to himself when he was alone. Even his thighs started to twitch, and Daichi was sucking more hickeys into his skin and he knew he was done for.

“How thin are your walls?” Suga voice edged into a whine, holding Daichi for dear life as he snapped his hips greedily into the sticky hot fist pulling pleasure through him in throbs because he just didn’t care anymore.

“Why?”

“Gonna fucking come.” Suga hissed, slurring the admission like it was obvious, oblivious to how it made Daichi shudder. His hazy eyes blinked around the bed, searching desperately, looking for something to stifle himself in and when he eyed a big overstuffed pillow, he snatched it with shaky fingers and brought it to his face and buried into it with a groan of relief. The reassurance sweeping through him only made his gut throb harder, his orgasm just _right there_ because it _could be_.

Daichi stopped laving up his neck. “What’re you doing?”

“Keeping your, _oh fuck_ , your parents from finding out that you’re jerking off your teammate in your bedroom.”

Daichi snorted, but he kept up his pace with his hand. Suga bit into the pillow and sobbed.

“You okay?”

Suga just wrapped his arms around the pillow and gripped it for dear life (because if he did that to Daichi he was gonna have a back covered in claw marks and bruises and he probably wasn’t ready for that) and started to hurriedly mumble into it, drowning out all the dumb little things all the contracting pleasure was making him say into the fabric because talking through an orgasm was the only way he knew how to experience one. _Daichi yes yes yes I’m right there just a little faster and tighter oh fuck fuck yes fuck me oh my god yes yes yes shit help me_ and Suga was crying out into the pillow as his orgasm punched him in the gut in the best way possible.

Daichi quickened his strokes as Suga released, and Suga’s entire body was rolling into and with the sensation, stringing together all these swears and praises and suffocating them into the pillow as his body worked through the spasms. It wasn’t by far the strongest orgasm he’d had but it was from someone else’s fingers and that someone else was letting him ride out the pleasure and was rubbing at his chest and kissing his ear and breathing heavily and telling him that he was _fucking hot_ and Suga wanted to die, maybe he already had if he hadn’t before.

“I think I got your sheets dirty,” Suga panted apologetically, and held onto the pillow and shielded himself from Daichi’s gaze. Because orgasms were wonderful but then the coming down rush of regret and shame was usually close behind (at least when he was younger, but getting one from someone else seemed to bring back that wave of awfulness full force), and Suga couldn’t look at him, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not the first time that’s happened,” Daichi promised with a snort, his words a little shaky, pupils dilated.

“And your hand -“

“I gave you a handjob what did you expect?” And Daichi laughed, and reached over to pluck a few tissues from the box on the nightstand (Suga’s brain wasn’t fried enough to not take note of that) and wiped his fingers off and offered Suga a clean tissue to clean himself up, too. He took it gratefully. He felt repulsive.

“I just -“

“Did you like it?”

“Yes!” Suga hid himself behind the pillow and whined into it. “Thank you very much!”

Daichi tossed the crumpled sticky tissue off the bed and snatched Suga’s pillow away. “Can you not be so formal about it? Also, do you curse like that all the time, or only when you come?”

Suga’s pupils were blown and he just stared at Daichi with horror. “Give me back that pillow.”

“It’s my pillow!”

“It has my drool on it!”

“You drooled on it? Ew!”

“Daichi, c’mon!”

“C’mon, what?!”

“Let me have my moment!”

“You’re just whining about nothing!”

“That’s the point!”

“You’re something else.” 

Suga, pillow-less, pouted. “Why are we dating?”

“Because we’re a perfect, dorky match.” Daichi said, pinched his cheek with his not-icky hand and snuggled into him.

“I guess,” Suga feigned an eye-roll and Daichi laughed harder.

_I like him so much. And he likes me. I think things will be okay._

Suga inched closer and went under Daichi’s shirt and started to massage his tummy. Daichi’s laughter died down and just hummed into the touches.

“Do you want me to…?” And patted down lower, on his thigh now, feeling the heat bleed from his erection through his clothes.

“You don’t have to.” Daichi shrugged, “It’ll go away on its own.”

“But I want to.” Suga said seriously. And he meant it. “I wanna make you feel as good as you made me.” And Suga skirted his hands back up and rubbed his ribs and Daichi exhaled, “And I also wanna watch you come.”

“Ulterior motives!” Daichi teased. “I knew it.”

“As if you didn’t want to listen to me!”

“I mean… that was really hot. Before, really. Do you always sound like that? That loud and talkative.”

Suga took the opportunity to snatch the pillow from him and smack his boyfriend’s face.

“Hey!”

“Next order of business: I’m gonna jerk you off and in the meantime think of a movie to watch for after!’

“I’m not thinking about movies while I’m getting my first handjob. No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I - I’m not!”

“Pull down your pants and start thinking.”

“Suga!”

“Pleeeeeease?”

“Why are you such a whiner?”

“Why are you such a party pooper?”

“I don’t even - _Shit_.”

“…Is that okay?”

“Suga, keep moving -oh, like that.”

“Need the pillow?”

“Not everyone needs to gag themselves during a handjob.”

“Don’t make me want to stop.” Suga taunted with a toothy grin.

Daichi smiled back as he brushed the bangs out of Suga’s eyes, “No pressure.”

**Author's Note:**

> i know... i'm not happy with this either
> 
> ALSO NOTE: when you consume alcohol and your BAC increases, there is a point where you no longer are able to legally give consent. Drink responsibly and stay safe!
> 
> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


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